August 17, 2017

Day 1, Hour 18: Bauer Bonds

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This week, we discuss Hour 18 of 24 season 1. Jack Bauer makes a friend in a flower pot, Kim gets caught in the dumbest drug deal of all time, and David plays gotcha journalism with Sherry. Michael gives a history lesson on bearer bonds, and the boys take an hour and a half to make the most obvious joke imaginable.
Highlights include:
  • Your shirt is my shirt.
  • Curtis flies under the radar better than Sully.
  • Captain America sucks.
  • Whoa, is that Scarface on the podcast?
  • That's one way to slow someone down.
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This week, we discuss Hour 17 of 24 season 1. The boys discuss Kim’s apparent immortality, while amnesiac Teri meets a doctor with a briefcase full of dildos. Jack Bauer lays a trap that goes horribly, predictably wrong, and Elizabeth has a pointed conversation. We finally start running out of time.
Highlights include:
  • Kim MacBauer of the Clan MacBauer
  • Teri is the most indiscreet adulterer of all time.
  • Jack explains the magic of fiber optics.
  • David Palmer remains true to his self.
  • Stab on them folks.
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This week we discuss Hour 16 of 24 season 1. The CTU safe house’s lawn gets a lengthy manicure, Elizabeth learns a sexy, dangerous secret about her lover, and we see Teri’s spirit physically fly out of her body. Jack spends some time yelling into a phone, and Keith Palmer hatches a devious plan.
Highlights include:
  • Nina gets her feelings hurt.
  • George Mason returns to the fold.
  • David attempts fatherhood for two full minutes.
  • Jovan Myovic proves he can also make a mess.
  • GOOD HANDS.
  • Kim came so close to actually making us happy.
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This week, we break down hour 15 of 24’s first season. We finally put a name to the angelic face of our sexy assassin: it’s a brand new Drazen. Palmer and Jack finally meet face-to-face, Kim is unsure how is babby formed, and Teri comes to an uncomfortable realization. The boys finally go a week without talking about Sully.
Highlights include:
  • Everyone follows protocol (drink).
  • The sweatiest spy boy.
  • Kim, maybe just take a nap again and stop ruining things.
  • David Palmer straight up hired a hitman.
  • An ignoble end in a dank NOLA bathroom.
  • Reinstate this.
The following takes place between 2:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time.
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This week, we break down Hour 14 of 24 Season 1, and boy-howdy is it a lot of exposition. Keith Palmer takes over his father’s mission to land him in prison, Teri and Kim get a check-up, and Jack finally gets some peace and quiet. Nina runs into a thoroughly professional phone cleaner, and the boys come around on Tony Almeida.
Highlights include:
  • Hot diggity damn, that’s a sexy assassin.
  • Y’all know people can hear you shouting about murder, yeah?
  • People eat.
  • Alas, poor Kevin.
  • Someone put a ring on it!
  • Sorry Cush talks so much in this one.
The following takes place between 1:00 p.m. and 2:00 p.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time.
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This week, we break down Hour 13 of 24 Season 1. Jack finds light in a hopeless place, Kim becomes the greatest threat to her family, and Palmer is forced to start playing the game. The boys enjoy a thirsty mid-season finale, and the body count finally rises.
Highlights include:
  • Teri goes on a frustrating escort mission.
  • Tony works the system.
  • Rick doesn't quite grasp how to interact with your girlfriend's dad.
  • You a coward, Kevin!
  • Ira successfully baits a shark.
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Honestly, does CTU even have a scheduling department? This week, Jack finally infiltrates the terrorist compound, Kim shows a flash of Bauer DNA, and David Palmer continues his chase for the Worst Father of 2001 Award. Gaines gets his man. Rick looks for Eli, finds another van.
Highlights include:
  • Teri’s got a good head on her shoulders.
  • Tony comes danger close to cracking under pressure.
  • That’s just not how HIPAA works.
  • Did David Palmer ruin the Obama presidency?
  • CTU and the open office romance.
  • Light a fire, leave no man behind.
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The following takes place between 10:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time.
We break down Hour 11 of 24 Season 1. Jack Bauer makes a strong bid for worst Uber driver of all time, while Nina and Tony jump into hot water with the new CTU boss. Gaines continues to lose control ahead of a rapidly approaching deadline, and Teri straps up. The Palmers go to school, and David somehow becomes more intolerable. The boys reveal just how quickly they'd break under interrogation (spoiler: don't tell us any secrets).
Highlights include:
  • Jack finds his laughin' place
  • Kim catches some shut-eye
  • Pretty sure that's not how tummies work
  • Mandy continues to fly under the radar
  • The 24 that might have been
  • David Palmer is bad at basically everything
  • Someone was smart enough to not give Dan a working gun
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The following takes place between 9:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time.
The life of our CTU mole, Jamey, hangs in the balance, Jack rolls around in a parking lot, and Milo narrows down the location of a cellular telephone to somewhere in North America, maybe. Gaines has lost control of his operation and the big boss is threatening to pull the plug, the money, and Ira's life. Alberta Green finally makes it to the office, but where is Rayburn? Jack follows a lead so bright, he's got to steal shades.  This was the first recording back from the hiatus, and the boys forget how to intro and who the captain is, but they always remember Tom Hanks contributions to cinema. 
Highlights include:
  • Terrible Aerosmith karoake
  • A rare perceptive moment by Rick
  • Jack probably makes Eli poop his pants
  • The kindergarden roast of David Palmer
  • Dr. Alberta Green, love guru
  • Flight 2: Electric Goosaloo
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The following takes place between 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time.

Following the attempt on David Palmer’s life, it takes Jack Bauer approximately 6 minutes to escape FBI custody and give a waitress absolute hell for the whole episode. Gaines starts to lose his cool. Jamey has a very low price tag, Lauren doesn’t earn a tip, and Sherry pulls some strings. The show gets a little gross. The boys question David Palmer’s commitment to fatherhood.
Highlights include:
  • Jack finally tells someone they’re running out of time.
  • Jack’s video game cutscene escape.
  • Milo just wanna get paid.
  • Ill-advised bear mace.
  • The weirdest one-sided phone conversation.
  • The Secret Service secret sauce: incompetence.
  • Kim believes in magic.
  • The plot thickens.

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